Walking the dog in the rain on Sunday, I came across this beautiful threshold. It was so striking. It got me thinking about the thresholds of life changes and how recently I've been fortunate to accompany numerous individuals on this stage of their path. They aren’t living the old life anymore, but they aren’t living the new life quite yet. They are standing on the cusp of the new. On the precipice, the threshold. That red edge can feel bewildering and alien. Sometimes exciting and sometimes terrifying.
Life is a constant stream of changes, a series of transitions that propel us from one phase to another. William Bridges, in his insightful book "Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes," speaks very eloquently and pragmatically about this very phase. He calls it the neutral zone. It's that curious and often disorienting space where something has ended, but the new beginning hasn't quite taken form. It's a time of darkness, of uncertainty, and of gestation – like a seed nestled deep within the earth, dreaming its winter dreams.
In times gone by, indigenous tribes recognised and marked this neutral zone. It was treated with great reverence as it was considered sacred. Individuals in transition would intentionally venture out into the wild, leaving behind the familiar comforts of their community. However, in our modern society, this liminal space often goes unnoticed, unmarked, and unappreciated. We're so accustomed to pushing forward that the idea of waiting and dwelling in the unknown becomes uncomfortable to us, even repellent.
Why is it so difficult for us to embrace this state of unknowing? We're programmed to crave certainty, to plan and analyse, to fix problems and seek solutions. Yet, in the neutral zone, thinking and doing aren't the tools we need. This is a time for letting go and waiting, for sitting in the quiet stillness and acknowledging the discombobulation that comes with it.
In our fast-paced world, where immediate progress and action are prized, this waiting and silence might seem counterintuitive. But it's within this silence that inspiration finds its voice. The hushed whispers of new ideas, impressions, dreams, and images can only be heard when we allow ourselves to be empty, to create space within our minds and hearts. Inspiration emerges gently, unassumingly, like a quiet breeze that rustles the leaves. If you’re preoccupied with pushing forward, you’ll miss it.
However, to embark fully on a new beginning, it's necessary to engage with the neutral zone. It means leaning into the abyss of the unknown, embracing the darkness and disorientation, and, ideally, spending time in silence and solitude. Only by fully experiencing this phase can we emerge with a clearer vision and a deeper connection to our inner selves. It's during these moments of introspection that inspiration chooses to reveal itself.
As I've journeyed in my own life and walked alongside my clients through their transitions, I've witnessed the power of leaning into the neutral zone. It's not a process that can be rushed or forced. It requires patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to trust. But the rewards are many – a newfound clarity, a rekindled passion, and a stronger sense of purpose.
So, if you find yourself teetering on the edge of change, if you feel your drowning at the water’s edge of the neutral zone, I invite you to consider this: rather than rushing through, why not allow yourself the grace to sit with the unknown? Let go of the need to constantly plan and act. Spend time in silence and solitude, and allow inspiration to whisper its secrets to you.